Marshmallow Man
by ChottoMatte
Summary: ;D Just do it. Rated as it is. Don't hold this one against me.


A/N- This came out of nowhere

**A/N- This came out of nowhere. Don't even bother with it. I made myself a promise I would post anything I wrote, but this is just weird. ...**

"I would marry a man that could make the perfect marshmallow." Roxas huffed, prodding the sodden mass floating in his mug of hot chocolate. "These are too squashy." He snuck a sidelong glance at his friend Zexion, immersed as always in a well-worn book. "Did you even hear what I said?"

Zexion looked up quickly. "Yes. Marry the marshmallow man. Squashy."

Roxas glared at him, narrowing his bright blue eyes. Zexion had already turned back to his book, but the blonde couldn't complain. He'd just been bored since Sora had eloped with Riku, and the  
bluenette had put up with his angry rants and frustration, allowing Roxas to drag him anywhere and everywhere in search of hidden entertainment. He was debating about getting a job, but didn't know what he could do that would allow him to still sleep until noon every day. He'd turned 18 the week before, but without Sora he just slept the day away and stayed in all night.

He hummed and fooled with his drink absentmindedly, discarding his disgusting marshmallow and sipping his chocolate. He surveyed the quiet cafe, noting the patrons and jiggling his leg impatiently. He whined quietly, and stood suddenly. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom, Zexion."

The bluenette merely nodded, idly turning a page in his book. Roxas danced between the tables and dodged customers with trays. He washed his hands and spruced up his spikes, splashed water on his face and dried with one of those itchy paper towels. He meandered out of the restroom, turning a corner and smacking directly into someone else. He looked up, used the height differences, to curse out the idiot who'd crashed into him and been such a dick.

A tall, red-haired man stared him down, fingerless leather glove-clad hands fisted on sharp, emaciated hips. He looked bemused, watching as Roxas' jaw dropped. His grass-green eyes were set off by his black, triangular tattoos below his eyes, his ensemble completed by the fluffy pink apron he wore over his street clothes. "Hey Roxas." The red-haired man smiled and bent at the waist until they saw eye to eye. "Can I show you something?"

Roxas still stood stock-still, staring suspiciously at the lunatic-man. "Who...are you?"

The man laughed quietly. "The name's Axel. A-X-E-L. Got it memorized?" Roxas watched him as he gestured, pointing his finger at his head like a lunatic. He involuntarily stepped back, intimidated by the giant man staring him down. "So? Can I show you something?"

Roxas nodded slowly, skeptical about this. Was he going to get kidnapped again? Hidden in the back room? Or worse, was he just bait so some jerkwad could hit on Zexion when he (maybe...) came looking for him?

Axel grabbed him by the wrist and towed him behind the counter. Evidently he worked here, hence the apron. He rummaged around in the cupboards below the counter, pulling out sticks and boxes until he found what he wanted. He gingerly removed a large bag of marshmallows, and shoved them into the blonde's hands along with a sharp poker. He motioned towards the stove, where a blonde man was roasting a marshmallow as well.

"Hey Demyx!" Axel yelled over the chatter in the store and the squeal of the cappucino machine. "Move over so Roxy can roast!"

The blonde stopped. "Did you just call me...Roxy?"

Axel nodded.

"Why am I doing this?" Roxas turned to put his marshmallows back. "You're a strange man who mysteriously knows my name, ambushed me outside a bathroom, dragged me back here before I could protest, handed me a bag of marshmallows and gave me a stupid nickname!" He paused for a breath, and realized the store had gone quiet as he yelled. He looked over the counter at Zexion. The bluenette had put his book away, and was staring at Axel with a bemused expression. Roxas threw the bag at the redhead and stormed out from behind the counter. He sat quietly at his chair, disregarding the stares he felt boring into the back of his head. "Let's get out of here, Zexy. I don't know what the fuck is going on." Zexion nodded slowly, and pushed back his chair. As Roxas stood and grabbed his coat, he heard Axel call out.

"Hey! Roxy! WAIT! I though we were gonna get married!" Roxas stopped dead.

"WHAT!? WHY IN GOD'S NAME WOULD I MARRY YOU!?" Roxas screeched, giving even Sora a run for his money in the 'most effeminate crazy-ass gay man currently in existance.' "What...SICK...little demented...I just...I...NO!!" Axel wilted. If he was a flower, all his pretty red petals would have fallen off, his leaves would have withered, and his cute little roots would have shriveled. He looked back up at the blonde, an unexpected sea of sadness in his shiny green eyes.

"I thought...If I could make you the perfect marshmallow...you'd..." He sniffled, and a tiny tear rolled past his triangle tattoo. "I wanted to..." Roxas' eyes widened, and he looked down. He scuffed his sneaker across the floor and shuffled his feet. When he looked back up, Axel was leaning against the counter, holding a tissue and crying silently into it. Roxas' jaw dropped.

"D-Don't cry!!" He subconsciously moved to comfort him. "Well...can you really make the perfect marshmallow?" Axel, shocked, looked up with wide eyes. He smiled beatifically. "'Cause if you can't, then I dunno if-" He was cut off by soft, warm lips molding themselves against his own. Cinnamon and marshmallows, accented by a sharp tangerine tang. Axel pulled back and smiled.

"Of course I can." He reflexively caught the marshmallow Demyx lobbed at his head. Zexion held the fluffy white blob as Axel removed his leather gloves. "Watch this." He cupped the sweet treat in his palms and closed his eyes. A look of hard concentration stole over his face momentarily, and heat radiated from his hands. He opened his eyes and Roxas shivered at the fire in the startlingly green orbs. His hands opened and the group gazed upon the miracle of man - THE PERFECT MARSHMALLOW. Just barely browned, a crispy outer shell surrounding a  
gooey, molten center. Roxas shuddered softly, the orgasmic scent of roasted sugar wafting over his nose.

"Isn't it beautiful?" Demyx (crazy blonde, mohawk/mullet, water, sitar, don't feel like using a paragraph to describe him.) He, aparently, had surgically attatched himself to Zexion's right arm, and now tackled him to the floor.

Zexion's eyes widened as he fell, landing with an 'oomph' on top of Mr. Crazy.

Demyx smiled and giggled. "Are you coming on to me Zexy? Oh Wait! YOU'RE ALREADY THERE!" He laughed, his cackles increasing in volume as he rolled from side to side, pinning the bluenette under him. Somehow, mysteriously, because I don't feel like writing it, Demyx had finagled the windows closed, the shades drawn, and the door sign flipped to 'Closed! Sorry!' "Now let's have sex!"

Zexion screamed.

Roxas, momentarily engaged in other activities, popped his disheveled head over the counter and squeaked "Huh?" Demyx had begun removing the bluenette's clothing, pulling his pants down to his thighs and his shirt up to his nipples. Axel's head popped up by Roxy's, his eyes lidded in lust and his breath heavy. "That was...amazing...Roxas..." He panted and flopped back onto the floor.

Roxas sighed. "I don't suppose you have a spare engagement ring, Axel?" The redhead resurfaced.

"Of course I do, silly! I've been waiting for this day for 2 years!" He smiled. Roxas shuddered.

"That's creepy, but endearing. Lay it on meh, bebeh." He held out his left hand daintily, like a woman. Ahahaha. Woman-Roxas.

"I know, I know. I had to use Sora's hand to get the right size for yours though. Hope it fits." He slipped a slim white-gold band, with a tasteful arrangement of stones I don't feel inclined to describe onto the blonde's finger.

"Eh! It does!" He smiled, eyes crinkling at the corners and white teeth flashing predatorily. "Let's hope it doesn't fall off now...it's gonna have to hold on for dear life..." He dragged Roxas below the counter, paying no mind to the sorta-rape right in front of them. Double wedding. Whoo-hoo.

**A/N- WTF IS THIS? Omigod, I'm soooo sorry for making this. I regret it. I don't even know where this came from. It's for Aku/Roku day, btw, and I got the idea when I was sitting around a campfire at my Uncle's summer cottage. God, that was the only fun part. So, uh, yeah. Feel free to flame this one. It has no base in reality, it's too OOC to exist in the real world, and I'm wondering if someone spiked my drink with something to make me batshit crazy. Review, Pm me, whatev. I'm seriously lonely on vacation, and I love to get emails. My email addess is **** so just...GET ME OUT OF THIS SICK  
BOREDOM.**

**See what happens when I let her go to Wisconsin by herself for a couple of weeks? Sigh.  
**


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